10 Decisions You Spend More Time Making Than The Senate Spent On The Revised Tax Bill

The Senate voted after having the revised tax bill (a nearly 500 page document) for only a few hours. Here are a list of things the average person spends more time deliberating than was dedicated to a tax plan for the United States of America:

1) Choosing a Christmas tree

2) Picking out kitchen cabinet knobs

3) Whether to wear the dress with the sweetheart neckline or the sporty one with the pockets.

4) Creating a fantasy football team name

5) Settling on Jitterbug Jade or Nifty Turquoise at Sherwin Williams.

6) Determining if the email to your subordinate comes across as firm enough without being too authoritative.

7) If you should turn off Transformer-The Last Knight even though you are more than halfway through it.

8) Confirming there’s a part missing in your Ikea furniture box.

9) Agreeing which would make a cleverer group Halloween costume: the band French Kiss, wearing berets and face makeup, or the group Spice Girls, consisting of oregano, pepper, and cumin.

10) Whether there’s any hope for your Pinterest craft to turn out the way it looked in the picture.

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What Did One Astronaut Say To The Other?

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Possible reactions of astronauts in space after hearing that NASA shut down:

  • “So… how do you think that new Sandra Bullock movie ended?”
  • “Hang in there? HANG IN THERE?”
  • “I never thought I’d say this, but now might be a good time to call Russia.”
  • “My stars.”
  • “Spaceballs.”
  • “You think Amazon delivers up here? I’ve got Prime.”
  • “Well, I guess we might as well get started on Gingrich’s moon colony.”
  • “Good one, Houston. You almost had us there with your whole ‘going dark’ spiel. The lights in the D.C. area of the United States literally turned off and everything. That was a nice touch. But seriously, you’ve had your fun, now power back up. Houston? Houston?”
  • One, “And we’ll all float on okay. And we’ll all float on any way well.” The other, “Hey Bob. Lay off the Modest Mouse, will you? It wasn’t funny before NASA called, and it sure as hell isn’t funny now.” One, “Gravity, stay the hell away from me.” The other, “Back to John Mayer? For cripes sakes, Bob. For cripes sakes.”