I couldn’t believe when I scrolled over some rather adult merchandise on what I thought to be g-rated, public forum, Groupon. But I ran with it:
What’s all the buzz about over at Groupon? It’s Body Pleasures Pocket Vibrator– Groupon’s Labor Day Deal. What better way to honor America’s working men than by giving them the night off? No need to lift a finger, fellas; Groupon has your gal covered.
Groupon is your one stop shop for bargain items–from tablets to titillation–at half the cost. Listed between diet pills and discount watches, this sleek doohickey doer is priced at the climax of savings. At $9.99, we’re redefining, “a cheap thrill”. We’re putting the “O” in competitive value. Getting a deal has never been so gratifying.
Have we aroused your interest yet? We’re just getting started.
- Because this mini joyride is water resistant, feel free to sing in the rain.
- Dress your new best friend up for any occasion with its four attachments.
- And with our cleverly designed discreet packaging, you don’t have to think about your nosy neighbor. Unless, of course, you want to. Wink, wink.
Available in purple, red, and hot hot pink, these rockets will fly you to the moon.
Best of all, this must-have gadget is pocket sized, so you won’t have to leave home without it (or, because customers can purchase up to three with two additional as gifts, you won’t have to leave home without them).
You’ll never have to suffer through another pointless work meeting, parent teacher conference, or doctor’s appointment. It’s so subtle, your colleagues won’t be asking, “Is that a Body Pleasures Rocket in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” The driver in the car beside you won’t be able to guess why you love traffic so much. But, be warned, your doctor may prescribe you blood pressure medication.
With its durable hard plastic, this is a toy to grow old with.
Body Pleasure Pocket Vibrator on Groupon: turn it on, and let it return the favor. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Thank you for shopping at Groupon. It’s been our pleasure servicing you. And now the pleasure is all yours.