20 Fake Disappointing Headlines I’d Have Preferred to Read Over, “Friends Reunion Confirmed As Rumor”

tumblr_mdsow1Ggju1qg62bgo1_500

1)   M&M Discontinues Peanut Butter Variety

2)   Now Neptune Isn’t A Planet

3)   Alena Gained Five Pounds

4)   Nickelback Announces Release Of New Album, and We All Must Listen

5)   Carvel Going Out of Business

6)   Tent Dresses Back In Style

7)   Peasant Tops Out of Style

8)   Winter Extended One Month

9)   People No Longer Read Books (Oh wait—this one is true)

10)  Your Rent Will Increase

11)  The Minister Who Performed Your Wedding  Wasn’t Properly Ordained, Rendering Your Two Year Marriage Null And Void

12)   Government Mandates All Households Donate 50% Of Their Shoes To Charity

13)   Scientists Conclude Avocados Are Actually Unhealthy

14)   David Sedaris Gives Up Writing—But Only For a Year. Two Tops.

15)  While On Long Island, Accent Required

16)  Harry Potter World To Close Before You Get to Visit

17)  Starbucks Confirmed As Drug; Daily Dose May Not Exceed Doctor Prescription

18)  Holy Grail Found! And Then Lost, Again

19)   Sex and The City 3 Is NOT A Rumor And Will Be An Actual Movie

20)   Nicholas Cage To Star In Every Future Feature Film Ever Made– That Includes SATC 3 (Now I’ve gone too far)

Advertisements

One thought on “20 Fake Disappointing Headlines I’d Have Preferred to Read Over, “Friends Reunion Confirmed As Rumor”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s